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Longing to wear a bow necktie

Font Size:big - mid - smallejinfatie   Release time 10-01-27 11:17     view:1183   coomment:0   source:

Longing to wear a bow necktie

I've always liked wearing bow neckties.

They just kind of complete a look.

Ties with stripes - power ties if you will - are my favourite, followed by ties with little dots.

You can wear striped and dotted bow neckties with pretty much any outfit.

I'm not a fan of the paisley pattern.

I don't know why - but I just don't like 'em.

I really like bow ties too.

They give that, "I'm an educated sort of chap" look even if you're dumb as a post.

Bow ties seem to really be popular with the Sunday morning political talk show crowd on television in the United States.

At least one of the guests always seems to be adorned in one. The token bow necktie guy. Often he is the left-leaning or hard-to-right member of the panel.

Despite my fondness for the bow tie, I can't get away with wearing one. Every time I try one on all I see is my gut sticking out.

A regular tie helps disguise those of us with orbs. Call it orb camouflage.

But with a bow tie on, I always look like a lumpy package with a pretty ribbon at the top.

Every so often I convince myself this isn't true and I try a bow tie on in the store.

And every time I do, I quickly place it back on the shelf.

I suppose I could get rid of the orb. But that would require exercise beyond the regular lunchtime walking I try to do in nice weather. And, frankly, I'm not prepared to start jogging or going to a gym.

So I go without a bow necktie, even though I look longingly, almost lustfully, at them in the store.

A lot of famous men wore bow ties.

Humphrey Bogart, for example. And Frank Sinatra did too. So did Charlie Chaplin, Jerry Lewis and Fred Astaire.  And lets not leave out Larry King.

My hero, Winston Churchill, wore a bow tie as well.

Now, I know, Winston was pudgy like me, pudgier in my mind. But he pulled off the bow tie look nonetheless. Maybe it was the cigar that somehow helped. Maybe it was just Winnie's - as those of us who are fond of him sometimes call him - mere strong presence that allowed the orb and bow tie combination.

All I know is that generally speaking, bow ties work best on guys without guts.

Chaplin: no gut. Lewis: no gut, until later on in life. Astaire, gutless, thanks to all that prancing around a sound stage he did.

Karl Marx wore a bow tie even though he had an orb, but then if you ask me Marx was a bit nutters so he could get away with the look.

The only time I wore a bow tie and was able to pull it off was my high school graduation. Of course, I was skinny back then. In fact, I was 160 pounds skinny. And, even if I had been a bit portly around the middle, I had a snazzy cummerbund that would have hid my orb.

Ten years and several pounds later, when I got married, it was a normal necktie all the way.

Yep - when it comes to bow neckties, some guys just have it and other men don't.

I'm in the latter crowd.

Give me a good tie with some bold stripes, a nice half-Windsor knot and I'm good to go.

Sorry bow ties. At least we'll always have high school graduation.

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